Bead Shop Mayhem: The Struggle is Real

After today's wonderful moments of "inter-web" catastrophes and reminding myself that a wonderful walk on a beautiful sunny Sunday (after a stormy Saturday). I really can't complain about a bead shop having the wrong business hours posted on their Facebook page.  I will however lament that this did not go over well for me since this was my first attempt to visit this store (given that it was local and only a short 20 minute walk away from my house) and at time time is not inciting me to check out the store again any time soon.

I did however take the 45 minute leisurely stroll down to my favourite bead shop just off Johnson St, on Broad (I believe: Victoria Bead Town) in downtown Victoria only to discover some new beads that I "really-really" had to have!  There was one little glitch, I realized when I got home that it meant I would have to re-do a garter belt.  Am I sad?  No not really, because to be honest, the initial garter belt was "not sparkly or fancy" enough with simple glass beads on them.  I wanted sparkle! I wanted something the Bride will be happy to hold on to for her daughter or future daughter-in-law to wear when she walks down the aisle (Something Old, Something Blue)

And I have yet to be disappointed by the selection or even the wonderful service I always receive at Victoria Bead Town Designs, and 10% off VIP card is always a nice treat!  

Back to the initial bead shop, it was a moment today that I am starting to considered that maybe my cousin is on the right track with the idea of recycling old glass beaded jewelry she finds at garage sales and in Thrift Shops.  Not only does it reuse what will otherwise eventually end-up in a landfill, but it removes the dismay when faced with other shops being closed on a sunny Sunday.

Summer is Almost Over...

As summer ends and I sew in the ends of the last few octopi I have made for children at Kids Klub I feel excitement and some vague sense of "bittersweet"; partially because summer is ending and the long days spent splashing in the water on Beach days or the short moments teaching the children how to make felted animals or simply play a few rounds of Uno are shortening just like the time the sun spends in the sky is shortening.

Already I am making plans for the years and months that lie ahead.  We (my partner and I) know what is up with my health and we are taking the steps to get me better while I take on the challenge of finally going back to school. (YAY)

It's going to be busy, but I will learn to budget my time and at least post here once a week, even if it is just pictures of what I am getting up too in the tatting world.

Waste Not, Want Not

It's impressive what people are willing to throw away; either because some pieces got lost or broken and what a negative impact that has on our environment!

Mr. Smith saved this from wasting away for years and years and millennia at the local dump; it can certainly be used by me! I'm looking forward to embellishing the edges with tatted lace and making info cards for the center panel. 

Oh the possibilities are endless for next year's Fribrations Festival as a demonstrator!

Fibrations Festival 2015

Fibrations Festival is a one day festival held in Victoria BC each Summer; the past few years it was housed on the grounds of St. Ann's Academy, this year it was at Robert J Porter Park.

This was my first year attending this event as well as volunteering both with the Fibrations crew and as a member of the Victoria Embroiderers Guild (despite not paying my dues yet) and I had some very mixed impressions of the day.

Volunteering as part of the Festival was an incredible experience and I was there for set-up at 8am and tear down at 4:30, on the whole it was great experience; watching the vendors arrive with their items to sell, setting up tents and tables, and watching as the donations for the Raffle table were being submitted and arranged.

I would do it again.



I also loved the demonstrations that were available for patrons to attend.  Although I volunteered for two shifts with Fibrations and on with The Victoria Embroiderers Guild I was able to attend at least one demonstration.  

The first demo of the day was the one I was most interested in: Basic Kumihumo.

What a skill to learn!  And so simple!  It has instant gratification for children; and in a world where gratification is instant this is a craft that will fill that need for a quick and easy completion of a craft AND help work on patience, fine motor skills as well as allow for a chance for children to work their creative minds a little.

                                                                        Now attending this event with the Victoria Embroiderers Guild is another story all together.

An experience that leaves me questioning why I would want to pay my registration fee for this year.  As an interested party in joining the Guild one can imagine my dismay when I was excited enough to volunteer to help out at the Guild table at the event only to be reminded that I was not yet a member.

I understand how that would look (in hind-sight),  however it would really impress upon the Guild to request that interested members are made fully aware of their position and told not to volunteer for events until after their registration fees are paid.

I am also well aware that the protocol for registering is that interested parties are able to attend 2 meetings before paying their yearly dues, and it was come to an agreement that my volunteering would be considered my second meeting.  However, it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth and I will be taking the next few weeks to decide on whether I want to actually pay my dues (I really, really want to be a part of the Lace Special Interest Group and that really is the only reason for joining) However I think that it would be interesting to join and "shake things up a little".  Clearly it is time to add fresh eyes and a new perspective to the group thus improving membership: I hope.

As for volunteering with Fibrations: I am so on it for next year!!!

This Caterpillar is ready to be a Butterfly

The intent here is to hold myself accountable; most of you won't care, and the rest of you are just lurking to see whether or not I genuinely will hold myself accountable.

I've recently met a group of Doctors who are willing to look deeper into why in over 25 years I have been obese and no matter how hard I work or how "well" I eat the weight stays.  I can build muscle that would put "The Rock" to shame (but one trip to the gym leaves me so physically tired that I need 2 full days of sleep before I go back) and then there is the eating, I try and I'm human, I make mistakes but now there is no room for mistakes now... this time I'm building a network of support (and add kickers) to make sure that I keep the changes suggested to me: a soy free and gluten free diet (shoot me now)! Oh good God I hope I make it!

Keep in touch, next post will be at a computer so I can add pictures. 

(Yes, I am still struggling with posting photos via the app)

Between Chores...

It's not very often I take time to just doddle and play with thread and shuttles, just for the pure joy of holding the thread: its luster and shine, softness and flex.  This is just a sampling of what I have gotten up to today, so far, between chores and the other typical necessities of a day off.

F-it

It's ironic how much things can change in a year; from medical to emotional to personal growth.  I'm not crazy big on sharing (in real life) and I find it difficult to reach out (or even "put myself out there") but recently I finally saw a Doctor who admitted that I "most likely have a rather mild case of PCOS" and that is "the reason behind my 20 year struggle of not loosing weight" despite trying everything.

Now I can't claim that I am a saint: I am human, I have had days where I do home and eat a whole roll of Tollhouse cookie dough because the idea of prepping a healthy salad is about as fun as having my sinus' irrigated: a CHORE!  It doesn't make it okay, but again, I am human.

What angers me, is that it took 20 years of fighting with Doctors of documenting my eating habits or paying personal trainers ridiculous amounts of money to try and loose weight only to be told by the medical industry: "You're just not trying hard enough."

You're right, the days I come home so tired I can't even stand to take a shower, let along use a paring knife to prep vegetables means I am lazy.  Yawning through cardio class at the gym and having to take a 45 minute nap in my car before I can safety drive home means I am lazy.  You're right, I am simply lazy when a hike of 17kms a day with a full back pack leaves me dead physically and my partner has to set up camp alone (despite the training I took before the trip).

I am just lazy.

Imagine my anger when I find out that it most likely is PCOS (Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and I want to punch walls when I am finally told:  "Oh this is usually clinically diagnosed, it is very rare that anyone's blood work comes back indicating PCOS"

I want to yell.

I want to cry.

Instead I come to my profile picture.  This is me at approximately 235-40lbs last Summer (August 2014)  My partner had taken me to Horne Lake Caves (Near Nanaimo BC).  The hike to get to Andres' Annex nearly killed me.  By the time I got to the entrance to the cave I wanted to sit down and cry from exhaustion.  I was done.  My partner had to cajole a "sweet smile" out of me and what he got was this thinly veiled contempt of a smile.  I was done.  I didn't want to go into the cave.

I tried and "tapped out" I saw the ladder and couldn't do it, the ladder seemed too far away and I was unable to see the little ledge you could sit on to climb out on to the ladder.  I left the cave, and sat down for a good long cry outside the cave while he went exploring.

This year, was a little different.  This year I powered through most of the hike up the Andres' Annex, partially fueled by rage, exasperation and a desperation to prove to myself I am not lazy.  I only stopped once so short of breath that I thought I would almost pass out.  I had to prove to myself that I am not lazy.  Just constantly physically worn out, as of late; as side effect of being now 45 days late but not pregnant.  All I want to do is sleep.

When I climbed into Andres' Annex this time I was able to marvel at the assortment of cave crickets and limestone streaked rocks.  I made it to the bottom of the ladder and promptly had to stifle to animalistic need to scream and cry when I could not figure how to maneuver my swollen stomach through a crevasse, I gave up and climbed back up the ladder.  at the top of the ladder before I headed out of the cave I saw this crack and realized that  with a tentative diagnosis treatment is around the corner.

That once treatment starts I can relax and once the weight loss happens and with the right guidance from the Diabetic Education Center I will start to see the results I want to see after months in the gym.  I will start to feel normal again.  I will be happy with the lightest weight of 192lbs, but lets be honest that 185-180lbs would be a beautiful thing.

With any situation there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, I just have to focus on breathing through the panic and trust that the people with me are willing to catch me and lift me up when I need it.